Employee Number 777-3425

Mine Foreman Wrecking Crew

Employee Review 1995

After embezzling company funds and skimming ore from the smelter, Foreman Milbert Stainberry was sent to oversee the shittiest bunch of miners ever assembled (derisively known as the Wrecking Crew). He is loathed by his crew and both receives and doles out death threats like breath mints (which he desperately needs).

Unable to effectively lead his crew, Stainberry has been known to lock the personnel cage, preventing employees from leaving until they have met their daily production quota. This violates a dozen MSHA regulations and the legal department is concerned this practice will open the company up to a lawsuit for unlawful imprisonment. Stanberry has been disciplined repeatedly,but on days when he finds his crew sleeping on the job, he has been known to re-lock the cage.

We have received hundreds of complaints about the “motivational” posters Stainberry hangs around the Wrecking Crew’s production level. They seem to reappear as soon as they are removed. They do not motivate, but rather enrage his miners. I think management would be fine with the whole level collapsing on Stainberry and his crew. Their union makes them impossible to fire, yet they contribute nothing but HR headaches and legal nightmares.